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[Oct. 25th, 2005|09:20 pm] |
2005 is not a good year.
2006 will be a horrible year. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 20th, 2005|01:19 am] |
Hannah, the dog i've had for 12 years died tonight.
I'm really sad, but i'm also glad that she's at peace now, she'd been having trouble walking and arthritis. She's gone now, and it hurts, i'm gonna miss her, but i'll always gonna remember her as the good dog she was and that she died peacefully.
Here's to you, pup. Sleep well, i'll meet you at my journey's end. |
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| Urg |
[Aug. 9th, 2005|09:13 pm] |
Too much stuff. I don't wanna deal with any of it. I just wanna lay down in a box and die.
At least it'd get rid of this freaking ear infection. |
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| Black and White |
[Jul. 30th, 2005|11:56 pm] |
Hopefully, this is something that's occurred to everyone before, but if not, at least it's an excuse to procrastinate.
No one has ever, is ever, and will ever be born evil. People don't just choose to be evil. They do not try to be evil. No one wakes up one day, rolls out of bed and says "Say, I think today I'm gonna be evil!" The closest anyone gets to conciously deciding to be evil in a daily setting is to either walk up to someone and purposefully make fun of them, or else 'in defense'. The first is more likely to be perpetrated by guys, and isn't intentionally mean. That case is usually in jest, with the average guy's stellar ability to sense other's emotions telling them that its okay and the other person will realize its funny, or else to get laughs from friends (which is usually the result of some degree of peer pressure). The second case, like the first, is easily done by both men and women, but because the average woman's ability rationalize her actions in anything she does, it is more common with women.
Don't get me wrong though, just because someone isn't trying to be 'evil', doesn't mean that they aren't succeeding. A classic example would be Mr. Adolf Hitler. Hitler wanted world peace, and for everyone to live in harmony. Hitler looked at the world around him and decided that acheiving that goal through peaceable means would not work, so, in his desire to do good, set off on the bloody path that was World War 2 and all the atrocities therein. Hitler meant well. He wanted to bring about the end of all wars, unfortunately, I'm sure there's millions of Jews who aren't just waiting to forgive him.
Evil is what happens when people screw up when they're trying to do good. No matter what horrible, atrocious act you hear of, chances are the person responsible thought he was doing the right thing. The possible exception to this is justification. Oftentimes people will do something conciously evil, but think that it is alright because they are justified in doing it. Revenge, for example, is purposeful evil that's been 'justified' or 'rationalized'. Example: A woman found out her husband was cheating on her, so during sex with him later, she cut off his penis and threw it out the window. That'll teach him, right? Wrong. He bled to death before 911 could arrive. So now this woman, who thought she was teaching her husband a lesson has now murdered the person in the world who (in theory anyway) meant the most to her.
Evil happens because people do not think. If Hitler had succeeded (nevermind the fact that the history books probably would've been censored), how do you think you would feel about the millions of jews who were murdered, or the people who died in combat? Consider, if you will, all the Indians that were forced out of there homes, murdered, or died along the trail of tears when the US decided we wanted their land. Technologically speaking, they were almost defenseless, and diplomatically, we've broken almost every single treaty we've ever made with them. Do you wake up every morning, feeling pangs of guilt about the thousands of Indians killed so that we could have their land? No, and that's because you and no one you know was subjugated for it. Had Hitler won, the same thing would've happened. For a few decades, people would be outraged, but after a while, chances are that no one would care. It's horrible to think about, but probably true.
Hitler did not consider what would happen if he lost though. Instead of going down in history as 'Adolf the Peacemaker' or some such, he goes down as one of the most evil men of all time. He didn't stop to think that hey, maybe the ends don't justify the means. Maybe world peace isn't worth the millions of innocent murders. To an extremely lesser degree, people do 'evil' things in every day life. You probably consider your enemies to be evil people, but do you think that maybe they view you the same way? Just because you're on one side of the conflict, doesn't mean that you are on the good and righteous side. It doesn't mean there is a good and righteous side to be on. Really, it doesn't mean anything, other than that you're unwilling to make peace with the other person because you've dehumanized them by constantly thinking of them as evil beings.
So remember, when you think of someone as being evil, or as being an enemy of yours, really try and be emphatic. Think back to why you view a person like that and ask yourself "Am I pissed at this person over something really trivial?" Absolutely no one decides to be mean just for the hell of it. I promise you that. Calm down, chill out, and be at peace with your fellow humans. We've all got feelings, and we've all got opinions. Being close minded and hostile never made anyone a friend.
Be happy. |
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| Bai |
[Jul. 7th, 2005|03:04 am] |
Well, I got bored and decided I wanted to bicycle my way up to Washington D.C.
So um...
Bye. |
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| Woot is an understatement. |
[Jun. 29th, 2005|12:41 pm] |
Hey hey hey!
My brother is now engaged to his girlfriend.
Awesome.
That is all. |
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| Further meditations. |
[Jun. 27th, 2005|09:42 pm] |
An addendum from the previous post-
Why do guys have to carry so much emotional weight in a traditional (straight) relationship? Most women expect to be asked out by a guy, and even some that say they don't care inwardly expect the same. This is a very... interesting (to say in the least) viewpoint and assumption. Do women think its easier for men to ask them out than vice versa? Because I'll give you a hint: it's really really really difficult to ask someone out. Guys aren't any emotionally stronger than girls. There may be things we do that make it seem like that: guys do not cry not because we're stronger than that, but because the emotion of fear balances it out. If a guy cries, other guys and bitchy girls will make fun of him. If you're crying, chances are that you're emotionally or physically in a lot of pain, and having people laugh at you in that state is not a very pleasant experience. When a guy asks a girl out, they feel really embarassed while they find the words, again because of the stereotype that guys are supposed to be tough. They feel very vulnerable and hopeful while asking a girl out. Guys don't usually suddenly and out of nowhere do this. By the time they do so, they've had plenty of time to dream, hope and fantascize. If they're accepted, guys are happy. Happy isn't a difficult emotion. When guys are rejected, you have the feeling of all the hours you've spent thinking about said girl crushed into little pieces. Doing the accepting or the rejecting isn't hard compared to the other end, no matter what you tell yourself.
Now, don't misinterperet what i'm saying. If you aren't interested in someone, then by all means don't go out with them, but keep in mind that no matter how nice you are about it, it pretty much the most crushing blow you can deal someone. Choose your words carefully. Anyhoo, just more thinking on quirks about our culture.
Finally, comments on my last entry and possibly this one would be really appreciated. That means you. Right now. I was hoping for a bunch of insightful comments on my last post and only got one (much thanks, Amy). Puh-leeze comment on these couple entries. I'm asking you these questions. I want answers and I want to know what other people think about this kind of stuff. |
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| Meditations on < 3 |
[Jun. 22nd, 2005|12:52 pm] |
I've just been curious as of late, who decides what is wrong and what is right in love? You've all heard the term "All's fair in love and war", yet people cringe when they hear about incest in the dark ages and accuse you of being gay if you say you love a member of the same sex. Who's to decide what kind of love is appropriate and what isn't? English is a very limited language, as evidenced by the fact that there's a difference between saying you like someone and you like like someone. It's the same freakin' word, just one has emphasis and changes the meaning of the phrease completely. The ancient (greeks? romans?) had three different words for love. Philos (root word in the name Philadelphia [which is called city of brotherly love]) is the love that you share between your friends and family members. Eros is the word to designate intimate loving. Agapè is the love of god.
Now comes the tricky philosophical part. Clearly getting intimate with someone whom you're related to by blood is bad, because you've got a really high chance of giving birth to a retarded kid. Retarded children make me feel bad about not being retarded. Therefore, retards are depressing, and you're making everyone sad by practicing incest. Things can get trickier from there. What if your parents divorce and remarry, and you now have a very attractive half-sibling. Technically they're still your brother/sister, so that makes it incest, doesn't it? I know in some states it is against the law to marry within your family to discourage incest. Same goes for adopted children. Who's to say what's right and what's wrong in those situations?
Marriage is traditionally seen as a union between a man and a woman. I think Utah is the only state that allows polygamy, since they have such a large population of Mormons. People think Mormons are wierd in having multiple wives, but it's not that strange of a tradation. People in the middle east commonly have many wives, and Kings/Emporers from over the ages have had harems and etc. (Harem might be a bad example, I think they're mostly for sex, go with me here though.) Why do we think it is so strange to be interested equally in multiple people. I don't recall ever being taught that you can only have one crush at a time, or that you're a horrible person for even thinking about 'cheating' on your boy/girlfriend. Why do most people not think that a relationship involving more than two people is gross, won't work, is wrong, etc? Why do we think these things?
I'm not going to go into homosexualality too much, since there are currently huge debates about whether or not gays/lesbians should be allowed to marry right now. But think if you haven't already- what's so bad about gay people? They don't have tentacles, they don't eat babies, and i'm yet to hear a story about gay rapists being a problem outside of prisons. Bible aside, who decided that it was so incredibly wrong for a man to enjoy other men more than he does women or vice versa? Why do people get scared and make fun of homo or bisexuals? Is there something inherently wrong with the idea of the relationship? Being gay doesn't specifically entail hours and hours of anal sex. Homosexuals want to be married for the same reasons that heterosexual people do. It's not for sex, it's because they want to be with that person for the rest of their life. If that's what marriage means, why does it matter what kind of genitalia that your significant other has?
Finally, what does it mean to love someone intimately? I'm not talking about physical aspects of the word eros. To love someone means more than physical attraction, and to each person it means something very different. I wanna know what your definition of eros love is. So please, please comment. I'm very intersted in your answers. |
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| tossed salad & scrambled eggs |
[Jun. 8th, 2005|10:18 pm] |
Sunday had Drasher, Craig, Mick and Kevin over. Monday had Drasher, Mick and Kevin over. Today, Mick and I went to white water were I got cooked like a hot dog. Some people wear sunscreen when they're gonna be out for several hours at a time without a shirt, but clearly i'm too cool for that.
Mick is spending the rest of the week with Matt, and I'm leaving for Venture camp on Sunday. I've also got a swim meet tomorrow. Bah, stupid activity filled summer. |
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| Also... |
[Jun. 4th, 2005|10:05 pm] |
A's in all my core classes except Algebra 2. Kiss my ass, math. |
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| I'm back, babeh. |
[Jun. 4th, 2005|09:41 pm] |
NC wasn't real fun, but it wasn't real boring. I got a bunch of lazy in. My only complaint is that I kept having all these really wierd episodic dreams about people I know. It was strange and I kept waking up talking to them, then felt stupid and went back to sleep.
Saw ep 3 again with the family, bought $15 in SW comics (and I always thought i'd never buy comics again). Wrote like 7+ pages of swrpg material.
Our car broke down in South Carolina. Again. I refer you to my xanga entry of my previous experiences with SC. This time instead of spending a horrifying amount of time away from home, it ended up only being a half hour of delay. The serpentine coil in the engine popped off. We're still not sure why, but the coil seems to be fine.
Mick came from Witchitaw today and is spending tonight at the Wandell's house. He's gonna come here tomorrow. Adam is going to Louiiiiisiana, so that means I don't get to use previously mentioned 7+ pages of swrpg material but-! We'll probably just start a new campaign and mess around with it.
Also, I get to play his Guild Wars account while he's in LA, which may or may not result in me (finally, for some of you) buying the game.
In other Adam related news, we got to go down to the Ren Fest and run around for 4 hours. It was pretty funny, but since we were unable to buy any swords, I probably wouldn't have liked it as much if I had to pay full price admission. I lied about my age to get a temporary 99x freeloader card before we left, then showed the ticket booth lady my temp card and my salem ID with none being the wiser and me being eight bucks richer. Turkey legs kick ass. There's just something feral about being able to completely sink your teeth into a critter's haunches and pulling away a mouthful of tasty warm meat.
How is everyone doing? |
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| Goooo left go right c'mon pick up step go left go right go leeeft. |
[May. 26th, 2005|07:42 pm] |
*groove*
We had a lot of fun playing ddr, making more crappy saber pics, watched 'The Patriot'.
Totally pwned jeff after adam left in stepmania (anything he says otherwise is a lie).
Talked about swrpg a little bit. I'm thinking we need to get together and probably build something big. Something nice. World creation is tough, but if you get a lot of input into it, as well as the beginnings of character development in alongside universe creation. People have varying reasons for wanting to play RPGs. Some people like the hacking and slashing. Some people like the puzzle solving. Some people like advancing their characters. Some people like the acting. Me? I like making a story out of nothing. I like to tell a convincing tale, and to keep my friends happy. The first rule of any game is to make sure everyone's having fun.
Leaving for... some Carolina tomorrow. Gonna spend a week up there at the beach* with my brother and parents. It sounds really quite boring (old building type sightseeing) so I can only hope that it isn't.
*actually, 50 miles from a beach
"I waste him with my bowcaster!" |
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| So three wookiees walked into a bar... |
[May. 23rd, 2005|07:54 pm] |
...the fourth one ducked.
hah!
Anyway, last week of exams, no more real homework, no more projects, no more anything. Finals and that's it, 8 weeks of pure, undiluted lazy.
Stepmania is working, so thursday after exams i'm thinking movie at my house, stepmania, possibly go to pool or do water balloons? I dunno, but I only live a mile and a half from the school, and i'm not gonna be here for a week starting friday, so I wanna have people over thursday. |
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| Projects are teh devil!!11111 |
[May. 19th, 2005|10:23 pm] |
Swim team has its ups and downs. It's not quite the same without the Turcos, but some people I know from Salem are on it. The first practice was miserable, but now that i'm moderately back in shape, it's pretty easy. Relaxing, almost. I've been hella procrastinating, but with it being the last two weeks of school, i've found it incredibly hard to focus on much anything. After I do these projects, I'm thinkin' there's not gonna be any more assignments though, which is good.
Check this out if you haven't already. It's pretty groovy.
I intend to see Episode 3 this weekend, hopefully it'll be pretty nice. Mick is coming over... June 8th to the 11th? I think? I don't remember and in retrospect should probably have written it down. It's gonna kick ass, because i'm gonna see if I can't get some multi-day sleepover going on. It'll be the nerdfest of all nerdfests. *drools*
School needs to hurry up and get out so I can quit getting randomly depressed over stupid things. Fortunately, i'm bouncing back pretty well as of late. Drasher finally got a shiney new compy and downloaded a patch to BattleFront that makes it sound somewhat fun, and battlefront 2 looks promising. I really need me some monies to upgrade my utter piece of shit vid card.
And er... yeah. |
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| *snap-hiss* |
[May. 16th, 2005|04:23 pm] |
A lot of people ask me: "Is Adam a Jedi?"
Yes.
A lot of other people ask me: "Is that Jeff kid a Sith?"
Yes.
Any further questions? |
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| Fury of the thunder |
[May. 15th, 2005|09:57 pm] |
Alabama could have been worse. I wasn't really forced to socialize as much as usual, plus Ben's laptop had a car adapter so we got to watch DVDs on the way there and back. Equilibrium is a really good movie. We decided to not go to church today, which is incredible for my family 'cause mom, while not exactly a religious zealot, will go to great lengths to not miss church for any circumstances. It was pretty neat, only I was too awake to go back to sleep. =(
Went to Jim's, no one else decided to come so we went over and kidnapped bryan then watched equilibrium. We were then gonna go and watch hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy (which I have still not seen yet thanks to a certain person who just *always* has other plans on the weekend) but Jim's parents ditched us while we were watching equilibrium. Dad came to get me before we could come up with a plan B. (Which seemed to involve Jim mostly standing around with his shirt off for some reason while we pwned his honey suckle bush).
Next weekend is the last free one I've got before I have to go on a family vacation for the first week of summer, so it better damn well kick ass. Swim team practice starts monday. It's gonna be really easy compared to Salem swim team, so i'm looking forward to it.
Oh, and i've actually got a half decent picture of myself finally. Check it. |
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| Wuuhdsagu!! |
[May. 13th, 2005|04:00 pm] |
!
!!
!!!
I feel great. Sixth period was absolutely, spectacularly great. It was cloudy outside. My cd player didn't act up at all during the ride home. The bus driver randomly decided to go the opposite of our normal route, meaning I'm one of the first dropped off instead of the last. The comics section of the newspaper was in exactly the right shape (single page with an inward fold). There were cold cokes in the fridge since I actually bothered to restock for once.
I believe it is safe to state that I am out of my funk. Things are still kinda wierd, but eh, oh well. I feel like I could karate chop a whale in half right now. *boing*
Shoot, I don't even feel bad about going to Alabama tomorrow, and I hates my Alabama. |
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| I've got sunshine in a bag |
[May. 12th, 2005|07:55 pm] |
Didn't go to school today. I was so depressed that I literally felt sick. Feeling better now, "working" on my civics project due tomorrow. At this rate, i'm really hoping I can get away with a C. I just really don't care at this point. I'm the only one in that class with an A and I really don't feel like getting all stressed out. Besides, i'm like 4/5th done with it as it is. I'm just gonna add in some pictures, make it seem longer, and turn it in. He wants 10-15 pages? He's gonna get like, 5. Tops. And he can get over it. Blah.
My deal with all the depression lately is I feel like a loser. Not a nerd, I've no problem with being a nerd, but a loser. I feel like i'm that friend that says funny stuff occaisonally, then gets old real fast and everyone wants to go away. It's probably just paranoia or whatever, but sometimes it just really seems like no one wants to talk to me.
Eh. |
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| Poets are liars |
[May. 9th, 2005|09:04 pm] |
[emo]
Whoever said "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" is a goddamn liar.
Allow me to make an analogy, metaphor, whatever as i'm apparently good with those.
Imagine if you will, that you are a blind person all your life, never getting to see the bright colors and shapes of the world. Suddenly, advances in medical technology come through with an earthshakingly new treatment that can restore sight to the blind. For the first time in your life, you can see. Everything is beautiful, magical and new. You can't get enough vision. Just then, someone walks in with a shiv and slashes both of your eyes out and leaves you in a bloody pool on the floor. Now you can never see again, and the darkness is even worse than it used to be because now you know what you've lost.
Have a nice day.
[/emo] |
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